I have worked with several aspects to heal, but this one had the most resistance and I just didn’t know what to do. I took a break from visiting with him until I knew what I could do that was different than what I had already tried.
At the end of January 2018, I attended a *Jonah Group and my first question written was about working differently with my aspect.
*See at the bottom: Jonah Group
Before Jonah moved to me so I could ask my questions, he was speaking to the person next to me about the illusion of time.
That’s it! Of course! I need to go to his age BEFORE he was corded!
“Good day,” Jonah said to me.
I said hello and pressed voice record on my phone.
“My corded aspect…I need to go to the age he was before he was corded,” I said.
“Yes! The age when the cording occurred in this one’s lifetime was ages 16-18. This one was first corded at the age of 16, it began dissipating and then came back stronger at the age of 18.”
I knew of the power behind the cord. Though the person cording my aspect was some person I didn’t know, there was another individual who was empowering the cord causing my aspect to refuse to heal.
“Is it useful to know why the cord is being fed into by another individual?” I asked.
“This one (aspect) carries a belief that the cord supplies this one with life energy and if the cord was removed this one would die. This is a lie that has been told to this one, but a lie nonetheless this one believes. This one sees another in the nonphysical as the form of a savior. That has been orchestrating the difficulty as a savior. So if ye speak to this aspect in regards to this nonphysical entity, in any negative form, this one will become angry and push ye away because ye are attacking this one. This one is far from a savior, is indeed a master of the dark. Nonetheless this one believes as a savior. Therefore, if ye go back to the age when it began (16) and begin working with this one what is beginning to occur. Certain feelings and sensations in this one’s body to begin searching when that physical sensation occurs what are the thoughts of consciousness that begins to occur. That separates this one from this one’s family. Separates from love.” Jonah said.
I instantly thought of many angry youth with whom I have worked. I remembered that even if a teen was abused by a parent, you never would speak poorly of that parent. Many times, the teen is still seeking love and approval from the parent, regardless of the prior abuse. If you speak negatively about someone the teen is seeking approval from, you become the bad person and the teen will shut down.
“Not too different from working with an angry teen…” I said.
“So when I asked him if the cord was removed and he said yes, he lied…” I said.
Now, I knew what to do differently. I simply needed to go to his age 16 in meditation. As happens most of the time, I became excited once I had a plan.
I went to my aspect at his age of 16. He was there, as he always was, but he appeared resistant in listening to me. As if he didn’t trust me. I simply sat beside him with giving him plenty of space. I remembered well, in working with angry youth, you always give them space and never look down on them as if you are superior.
I spoke with him of self-honor, love, and taking charge of his life. I told him there are no saviors and that ones who say they’re saviors actually control. I spoke this in general terms without mentioning his cord. He seemed to listen, but I knew I would need to see later if he took it in.
A few days later, I went to him again. He seemed willing to listen. He offered me the sense that he felt or was rejected at some point. I shared with him about how I was bullied as a kid and how I needed to learn to like myself after having experienced rejection and bullying. I told him I loved and accepted him no matter what. I offered him a big hug and he said thank you. I let him be for a while and told him I would return.
I have learned in working with my pained aspects, it’s best to not talk too much or try to hurry a process. It’s also important to have a strong focus and to use assertiveness in working with them. Being passive in working with aspects never seems to work, at least for me. I have to be active in working with them. Simply offering love and compassion hasn’t been enough to help aspects change their perceptions from pain and trauma to self-acceptance and empowerment. I always need to have direct conversations with them, but not in a rushed fashion. Consistency is also important.
A few days later, I visited with my aspect. I could see he was better and this gave me hope. So far, it had been two months of working with him and finally I was starting to see some progress.
“Can you repeat to me what I said last time?” I asked.
I said this for two reasons. One-I wanted to see if he retained anything. Two-I couldn’t remember what I said because I didn’t review my journal before going into the meditation.
He repeated the overall message of our last conversation. That I spoke of self-power and self-honor.
That sounds right.
I was happy he retained the information. He seemed to be understanding he has power all on his own. I again talked about not needing a savior in general terms and decided to use an analogy.
I stood up straight, placed my hand on his shoulder, and said, “I now give you the ability to be a male.”
I said this with a bit of drama to make it look asinine.
He simply looked at me seemingly confused.
“See how ridiculous that sounds? You are already male, so how can I give you something you already have? So a savior cannot give you safety of being saved either. You don’t need saved, you don’t need to be given power, because you are ALREADY powerful!”
I expressed love for him and reminded him he’s already a part of my family and he will never be alone.
I promised to return shortly. I noticed if I took even a few days in between there was a slight set-back. Though he seemed to be making progress it appeared it was two steps forward and one step back each time overall. I planned to visit him again later that day.
In meditation, he was ready for me when I arrived. He had a smile on his face and suggested we take a walk.
He pointed to the trees and said, “These were the trees where people were hung for treason for speaking against the king,” he said.
“Eww…” I said while looking at him.
“Yeah, let’s walk in the other direction,” he said.
We turned and walked away from the trees while I wondered about the hangings. I always thought people were beheaded back then, but decided to search it online after the meditation.
I read that some people were hung while the upper class were beheaded. Some were drawn and quartered for their punishment. I won’t describe what the latter is; anyone can search for it. All I can say is I cannot unread what I read about drawn and quartered punishments.
He shared with me that he thought a savior could make him eternal if he’s hung. I told him he’s already eternal and doesn’t need anyone to ‘grant’ him that. He seemed to be more aware of how the ‘savior’ presents himself. He’s catching on.
The next day, I visited with him again and he seemed happy. He said his anxiety is much less but it’s still there. I told him how proud I am of him.
I only waited one day to visit him again and he shared with me something he did while still alive. He showed it to me in an image.
He somehow tripped or pushed a woman down the stairs in a house that looked very wealthy. This woman was a mistress and was pregnant. He panicked and hid the body somewhere in the house. Though London has cool temperatures, it was also summer, and he didn’t take into account the body smelling. The body was found, but it appeared they did not connect it to him. However this kept his fear intact, a fear of being punished.
After the meditation and recording it in my journal, I realized there have been many times I will be standing at the top of the stairs and quickly have a vision of falling down the stairs and severely injuring myself with no one home to help me. I wondered if this vision was a reflection of what he experienced with the female.
A day later, I went to him and told him he did not need to fear punishment, that he has the right to refuse punishment energy and does not need a savior. His guide appeared and I also saw a light. My aspect and his guide walked away, but not into the light.
The next day, I was told someone I’ve know since my teen years had passed away. Because I needed to work at my office and stay focused, I stuffed all my grief down for the day. But that late afternoon it came bubbling back up as I needed to process and release it. But I also had promised my aspect I would return that evening. I was now visiting him almost twice per day to keep the momentum going.
Rather than my usual process of going into meditation (read my process at the end) and going to my aspect, it was like I was instantly transported to him. I was also experiencing grief bubbling over like boiling water in a pot.
“What happened to you?” he said, immediately upon seeing me.
“My friend died…” I said as I started crying in the meditation.
He hugged me and I told him I had no energy to have a conversation. I promised I would come visit the next day.
After almost three months now of working with him, I went into yet another meditation after I had processed my grief and was more focused on him.
My aspect was already present and waiting for me. He was concerned about me and wanted to know how I was doing.
“Show me where you live,” I said after thanking him for his concern.
“Where I live?” he asked while seemingly surprised by my question.
I was a bit surprised too, I didn’t expect to ask that question.
He seemed hesitant and said it was in small quarters. He seemed ashamed and showed me what was, in fact, small quarters. It was a simple space with a mattress and a few linens.
After walking away from his living space, I said, “You need to move on, to live in peace, to love.”
He expressed that his resistance was in loving a woman and if he moved on he might miss meeting her again.
I looked over and I saw this woman in the light waiting for him.
“You don’t need to be afraid…you have the right to love yourself and to find peace. You have progressed so much and I am so proud of you. I love you.”
He looked in the same direction and saw the woman and his guides in the light waiting for him.
After hesitating for a moment, he crossed over.
He finally rejected the cord in totality and moved toward empowerment and love.
The other five aspects, I saw in Egypt, do not carry the same pain as the London one. So I felt I needed to direct my focus now to one who did.
It was time to direct my focus on an abused aspect still alive now and living in Palestine.
My process for going into a higher mind meditation to visit an aspect (be it a younger or older version of me now OR a past/future life):
After taking time to breathe and focus my attention to where I want to ‘travel’, I ask my higher mind for assistance. I relax, breathe, and allow myself to visualize.
I know I am using my higher mind by how my body feels. My body feels relaxed and my mind focused on a goal.
I see myself walking into a forest. I inhale the rich earth fragrances (that I can actually smell), feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, see the beauty of the trees and blue sky, and hear my feet walking on dirt and sometimes bird chirping. I tune into all my senses.
After walking for a moment, I look over to see a cave. I walk into the cave and can smell the damp earth and feel the coolness. Inside the cave, I see another opening full of natural light coming in, though the first part of the cave is a bit darker.
I walk into the natural light in the opening and stand there allowing images to form and the person with whom I want to visit to form. I take a moment to observe.
How is my aspect doing? Fearful? Angry? Resistant? Disconnected?
After observing and taking in what I see, I begin to speak with the aspect to gain information and clarity. Then I have something with which to work.
The deeper the meditation, the more powerful. Some meditations last only 5-10 minutes. It’s the depth that matters the most.
After coming out of the meditation, I write in my journal what I said, what they said, and everything I observed. The journaling tracks progress (or lack thereof) and begins showing a story-a story that needs to be understood in order to effectively work with the aspect.
Some of the guided questions I always ask: what happened, why do you feel a certain way, what can be changed, how can I help you?
Some points I go by: offer compassion and love. Be assertive and focused. Be specific, rather than vague. Avoid judgment, but use discernment. Have direct conversations and carry an expectation of gaining answers.
*Jonah Groups are offered several times per year in Woodland Park, Colorado. Read more about Jonah at the link.